The Perfect Fan...

"It sucks to grow up..."
~Ben Folds

This is why I love my parents:

Blair, in France in April, approximately midnight Greenwich Mean Time: "Oh my gosh, you'll never believe what happened tonight! I met the bassist from Jimmy Eat World! The concert was soooo amazing!"
Mom: "Oh, good, you've found yourself a new man... you're coming back to the US to have my grandchildren, but their last name is going to be Eatworld..."

or this:

My dad: "Hey, do you think you could send me some Incubus CDs to give away with our anti-drug campaign?"
Blair, from a bus somewhere in Santa Monica: "Umm... I could, but in all their interviews they credit marijuana with giving them the creativity they need to write songs, so they may not be the best bet. Also they have a song called Psychopsilocybin."

or this:

From an email I got last week:
"MIKE EINZIGER's birthday is today! He's turning 31! In case you didn't know, he's in Incubus... Love from your mother."

or this:

My mom, after seeing a picture of one of the bands I work for: "Oh, he would be ok for a son-in-law if you erased those pictures on his arms, cut off that hair, wiped off that makeup and got those things out of his ears."

or this:

My dad, on the phone, after my insistence (insistance?) that he wouldn't like the bands I promote: "I like emo."

To put it in the words of the immortal DJ Jazzy Jeff,

Parents just don't understand,
The Fresh Princ(ess) Buh-lair